I felt almost normal
yesterday...
I was in my workshop
and felt… comfortable… for the first time in months. There were three
distinct moments where I even found myself smiling. Twice for songs I really
love, and once because a tricky technique actually worked!
And, I was able to go
running - outside! I've had several days in fact, and it is so
awesome! I almost become a different person when I can run outside.
Or is it that I become a different person when I am unable to run?
We also had a gig
this past weekend, and music always makes my life seem brighter.
These are all things
that are a typical part of my daily life. But I’m just now beginning to
feel at ease again, like I don’t have to pretend I know what I should be
doing or that it’s where I belong.
Normal...
But, it’s different
somehow. There’s something there that wasn’t there before. It’s
like a weight, not heavy necessarily, but a weight nonetheless. Or like a
shadow, following me around everywhere I go. I’ve heard people talk about
this “differentness” before and never really understood what they were talking
about.
I do now.
And I guess I've
accepted that it has become a part of my new normal.
 |
| View from my run last Friday. |
