Adoption: The Long View

When I placed Michael for adoption over thirty years ago, I was fortunate that my adoption agency provided after-placement care. I realize now how rare that was. Unfortunately, I did not avail myself of all they had to offer.

In recent years, I have recognized a lack of support and aftercare for first mothers and fathers is one of many glaring problems with the adoption industry.

Fortunately, people are working to change the systems, both at a personal level, by supporting birth parents one-on-one, and at a systemic level, helping write legislation to promote ethical adoption practices.

To address the lack of understanding about the problems affecting the adoption industry, I would like to share this interview by Lori Holden with Ashley Mitchell, which gives the listener an inside view of the birth mother and adoptive mother experiences.

Lori is an adoptive mom, the author of The Open-Hearted Way to OpenAdoption: Helping Your Child Grow Up Whole, creator of lavenderluz.com, and the new podcast Adoption: The Long View.

Ashley is a birth mother, owner of Big Tough Girl, and founder of LifetimeHealing Foundation. She is a torchbearer in the quest to educate around birth mother trauma and the fight for ethical adoption practices. She also hosts the podcast twistedsisterhoodpodcast for birth mothers.

I first found these two women ten years ago when I was struggling to find my way after reunification with Michael. Both women offer valuable insights and tender comfort to every member of the adoption triad.

Take a listen.

Adoption, Child Loss, and a Quest to Heal the Mother Wound

I have not posted on my blog in quite a while, but over the past year, I have been writing diligently about Michael: the adoption, our reunion, his death, everything in between, and beyond. In fact, as of yesterday, I have completed the first draft of what I plan to publish as a memoir.

With my husband's support and encouragement, I have delved deep into my memories, reconstructing events and their emotional toll, laying bare what it was like to lose a child, twice, and, more importantly, how I've survived.

I will be using my blog to engage potential readers, keep them updated on the book's progress, and help hold me accountable to my schedule and goals.

May I present my working title and a three-sentence synopsis.

 

Lost Again:

Adoption, Child Loss, and a Quest to Heal the Mother Wound

 

Lost Again follows my grief journey for the loss of my son, first through adoption as an infant, then his sudden death twenty-three years later. It illustrates the universal truth that child loss, no matter how suffered, creates a chasm of despair, and forces a parent to question every choice they’ve ever made. This story travels a path from fear and uncertainty to self-awareness and acceptance.