In Pursuit of Publication

I am a rule follower. I have always been a rule follower. But I am also independent, resilient, and stubborn. I like to do new things and expand my knowledge. So, in the summer of 2019, I set out to write a book.

Drafting the book was an adventure. A jumbled journey of ups and downs; pride and despair. I fought self-doubt and imposter syndrome. And still do. But I am now to the next stage of the process: pursuing publication.

There are three paths I am considering: traditional-, hybrid-, and self-publishing. Each path has pros and cons, and I have much to learn. It is both frightening and exhilarating.

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If I want to go the traditional route, which is the Holy Grail for most writers, I must get an agent. The agent is the first in a series of gatekeepers within the realm of publishing. They are hired to put my needs and desires as an author first, and to promote my work through an intricate courting process to big-time publishers, who only accept agented submissions. I’m sure you know some of them by name: HarperCollins; Penguin Random House; Simon & Schuster. But—and this is a big but—the agent must choose me as a client. Therefore, I have sent passionate letters to multiple agents in hopes of enticing them to love me.

Have you ever gone about ‘looking for love?’ Yeah, kind of…... counterintuitive.

Hybrid-publishing is like ‘a la cart’ for writers in a single location. They have teams of professionals in all areas needed to publish a well-constructed and marketable book, but with the author footing the bill. Hybrids differ from vanity presses. A hybrid press has a submission and acceptance process, cares about the author’s success and the quality of the book. A vanity press will take any work presented and throw it - as is - between two covers, without any quality control, if the author has the capital to front the book.

The self-publishing route requires or allows, depending on your perspective, the author to do everything themselves. Essentially, they hire independent contractors: an editor, proofreader, typesetter, cover designer, formatter, to name a few, then submits the work to a publisher facilitator, like Amazon, Barnes and Noble, or Apple Press.

In all cases, the author is responsible for marketing, or at least a portion of it.

Ah, marketing, the bane of many an author’s existence. (Yes, I am purposefully using clichés.) That will be another post entirely.

So, as you can see—if you’ve read this far—it’s quite a decision. And process.

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When I completed my manuscript, I immediately began sending out query letters to agents, because that’s what I was supposed to do. I am utilizing the tools specifically designed to assist me in my search, like QueryTracker, but so far, I have not enticed the attention of an agent.

Yet.

When I do, if I do, I will certainly post about it here. But during this process, I have rewritten or edited my query letter dozens of times. I participated in #PITMAD and began sending queries to small, independent publishers who do not require agented submissions. I wrote a respectable synopsis and am knee-deep in completing a proposal. Again, the rule follower toeing the line.

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Why, pray-tell, am I telling you all of this? Because part of acquiring the attention of an agent and publisher is being active on social media and engaging readers.

And yes, as I have made clear, I am a rule follower.

Beyond that, having readers is the only way I will succeed in my latest adventure.

And that’s you.

I need you.

So please, subscribe to this blog to receive email alerts about new posts. And read them. Then leave a comment telling me what you think. Tell me if you can relate. Or just tell me how your day is going.

As for me, I am heading back to the querying trenches.

Battling Perfectionism

When I was a girl, I never thought about getting older, finding a husband, or having kids. I didn’t dream of a fancy wedding or a big house. I was too busy trying to survive a chaotic and sometimes scary childhood. I remember going to bed wondering if my older sister would ever come home or if my abusive stepfather would visit in the night.

These are things a child should not have to think about.

Worry and anxiety took root at the foundation of my being, finding fertile soil amongst the poverty, deprivation, and abuse. By the time I was a teenager, the incessant fear had led to a quest for perfection—hoping straight A’s, compliant behavior, and model-like proportions would gain me the love, attention, and acceptance I yearned for.

It has taken me until my 50’s to realize perfectionism is like a field of landmines. Every time I think I’ve identified and carefully excised the obstruction, I discover another buried in my path. 

Silencing, or at least reigning in, the self-critical voices in my head followed close on the heels of tackling low self-esteem. Fear of failure necessitated the need to set realistic standards and goals, which consequently helped curb my procrastination, each a step in trampling a trail to self-awareness.

The process of writing Lost Again has been therapeutic in ways I had not imagined. Today, I am struggling to curb my need to make every word selection perfect and in the process found yet another landmine buried in the road. So here I am, telling myself to aim for excellence, not perfection.

I am still a master at finding flaws within myself, but I am learning to see them for what they are: human.