Thursday, January 16, 2014

Lost Again… His Birthday

This weekend marks what would have been his 24th birthday.   
My husband is taking me out of town - no easy task in remote Alaska.   
We’re going to see a friend perform in a play, see a movie (or three), go to COSTCO.   
Such mundane, ordinary activities…  

But, he knows me.  He knows I need to keep moving.  
That as much as I want to sit and stare into space, or sleep day in and day out, what’s best for me is to keep on keeping on.   
Get out and interact with people.  
To laugh, and cry, with others. 
To live.

As we prepare to leave town I realize I will be spending this weekend with the same people who were with me the night before I found out about his death.   
The same people I spent my birthday with less than two weeks later.  
And those who just shared Christmas with me.  
They’ve been here through it all.  

I am very grateful to have such a wonderful husband, and great friends.   
It’s gonna be a tough weekend, but I won’t have to go it alone.


  1. The not knowing....
    It is with us everyday.
    So also is the knowing.
    You knowingly chose life
    You knowingly chose to be connected to your son
    You knew since the day he was born that he would always be an important part of you
    Knowing the beginning
    Not knowing the end
    It's a truth we face everyday
    No child should leave this earth before his parent
    Your sadness in losing Michael
    But find comfort in what you've known since the day of his birth
    A mothers love knows no bounds
    Because he was born into this life
    He made you and the people he knew strong and happy
    He knew a love that was uniquely yours and his alone
    He knew he was loved
    He will always be with you as he always has been
    In your heart

    Love to you and Tom

    1. Thank you Kathy. For being my friend... for everything. I love you.