Monday, March 9, 2015

Good Bye to a Friend

I lost a friend this past week, a friend who was also a mentor and role model.  Although she was elderly, it was completely unexpected, and I'm feeling shocked.  She was a long time member of my community, but I really only got to know her over the past few years.  And although I wouldn’t necessarily describe our relationship as close, I believe it was a relationship built on mutual respect and common ground.  When I reflect on her life and legacy, I am actually warmed by thoughts of how fulfilling her life was, or at least it appeared to be to me.

She was a tough as nails woman who knew what she wanted, and she accomplished everything I ever saw her set out to do.  She built a strong family, worked hard and volunteered in the community.  I’ll miss her spunky debate at meetings, her overbearing know-it-all attitude and her unapologetic confidence.  She was a spitfire, a force to be reckoned with, yet also kindhearted and compassionate.  I was so lucky to have gotten to know her.  I will miss her dearly.  

But the hardest part for me in her passing is something else.  Something that’s quite hard to describe.  In Darlene I’ve lost someone who I shared a deep connection with: we both lost our sons.  Over the past year and a half when I entered a room with her in it we could make eye contact from across the room and there was an instant connection, an immediate recognition of a shared experience.  We could validate each others grief with or without words.  And I’m going to miss that a lot.

Fare thee well, my friend, and I love you.


  1. So sorry Candice, for yet another loss in your life. I hope you find comfort in the friends that are still here among you and they help to fill the void left by those that have passed. Much love.....xoxoxo

  2. I am so sorry that you lost your friend.

    I understand that. You both carried the knowledge of your children for each other. With her death, she takes with her that knowledge.

    1. I keep thinking she's joined them both now...