To lose a child is just not something that is easy to describe, yet many of us try. I try to share with loved ones and friends what it is I am going through, but it seems that no matter how many words I use, there are never enough of them. When I try to explain the complexity of my feelings I get stuck at where to start: am I a birth mom first or a woman who lost her child? Does it really even matter? Some days I browse birth mother blogs, other days those relating to the death of a child. I find value in both; they both address the loss I am experiencing.
I think this is why forums and websites for grieving parents are so important. When I’m reading others’ experiences about the loss of their children it makes me feel less alone. And when I say “parents” I mean all of us: those who have experienced loss through accidents, illness, adoption, infertility and all the many, many ways we are separated from our children.
And, I’m sorry. I’m sorry for all of you reading this that have experienced the loss of a child too.
I’m grateful to those who choose to share their stories and to those who bear witness to our losses. I’m grateful to my loved ones, my friends, my sisters, and all of you who’ve taken the time to read this blog, who’ve expressed their love and support. I’m grateful to my husband, who is a rock when I need strength to hold me up and a soft embrace when I need to be held gently.